Love’s Big Ask

Pursuing Love

Life is a conversation. Awake or asleep, we are in it. For me, the first big ask in this conversation is to be awake. The second is to be in love. David Whyte, my new favorite poet, whose audio book, What to Remember When Waking, I listened to twice in a row (never done that before) says that falling in love is on one level very personal. On another level we may be touching something much larger than we imagined.

He tells the story of William Butler Yeats’ unrequited love, Yeats first meeting with the woman of his affection, Maud Gonne, and his subsequent pursuit. According to Whyte, these elements morphed into a larger context and enabled Yeats to have a conversation of love with Ireland. The resulting poetry bestowed on Yeats the Nobel Peace Prize lauding him “…for his always inspired poetry, which in a highly artistic form gives expression to the spirit of a whole nation,” as noted on the website nobelprize.org. That’s the kind of “in love” I’m looking for. It’s vital to me as a writer, and moreover as a human.

The full moon in the month of October is the Full Hunter’s Moon. Native peoples named this month for its good hunting prospects. Since I’m not much of a hunter, or even a meet eater, I’m going to frame this month’s hunting moon in another kind of pursuit, the pursuit of love. I’m going to invite the archetype Cupid, with his bow and arrow, to smite me with crazy love, love of life, love of people, love of creation – all of it.

It’s a Big Ask.

The conversation will no doubt have a corresponding ask. With a little courage and a little wisdom we’ll be able to hear what that is. Maybe it’s to offer something of our own. I would hope that whatever we offer, at the core of it is our genuine diamond in the rough.

That’s probably different for everyone. For me it seems to have something to do with bringing the real me to the table, to the center stage of my life, to the ongoing conversation, and the willingness to give myself away, in love, for something real. That’s the Big Ask I think I’m hearing about.

Earlier this month was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish Civil New Year. Though I’m not Jewish, I love ritual and celebration, anything that captures the moment. And for me Rosh Hashanah is like a clean slate, a fresh start. It’s a moment in time to regroup and re-engage in the conversation of life on a new level, to enter into new territory.

Again I’m paraphrasing David Whyte: Disarming yourself is necessary when entering into new territory, like falling in love. It’s a unilateral disarmament when you enter into the territory of a vulnerable conversation with life. It’s the frontier where authenticity dwells. The challenge is to make our affection large enough to hold what the work demands of us.

What is the Big Ask in this season of your life?

Writing Prompt for the Week: The Pursuit of Love